I had been reading a book called “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons In Personal Change” by Stephen R. Covey. I found it very useful and informative and it helped me along my journey.
The reason behind reading this book: I started reading this book because I was getting to a point in my life where I would constantly ask myself why. Why, was I born into this life? Why, did other people get better than me? Why, am I nice to people who aren’t nice to me? Why, do I feel so paranoid when walking out on the street? Why, do I feel like people are judging me? – All of these plus more. These questions used to mither me every day and it used to get me down. I started to realise about 15 years later that whatever has happened in the past has happened, it cannot be changed but it can be dealt with differently. When the past was brought up I decided to react differently to it, and cope with the emotions in a different way. I am now at the point where I can talk about the past and not just get angry but actually hear other peoples opinion and value it.
Recently at school, we have been talking to the children about being wise and being clever and they initially thought they were the same thing. We told them a story which has probably been heard thousands of times. “Two boys one called Jack he was clever and the other called James he was wise. Jack and James graduated from University with the same degree and they were given some money to build a house. Jack being clever decided he can build this house all by himself. James on the other hand although he could build the house he decided to ask for building advice and decided to hire a builder. During the winter season, Jacks house was suffering really bad with damp and water damage, yet Jame’s house was absolutely fine” I guess the message is: Its okay to be clever but be wise enough to know when to ask for help or when to stop for a minute and think about what your about to do. This to me relates to the book because it’s making me realise it is great to be independent and do things by yourself, but sometimes you may need peoples help. So be independent but know when to stop and listen.
This book talks about 7 habits successful people have.
1. Be Proactive- Make things you want to happen, happen. Don’t wait around waiting for them to happen. Do something about it. For example, my friend is always complaining about her job and how it is stressful and boring. I showed her a while back a position at a different setting and it paid more money but with less responsibility. She didn’t even apply for it. Yet she still complains about her current job. It makes me think, right I have tried to give you a push for you to change but nothing. She now needs to become proactive and do something about it because there is only so much listening to someone moan a person can take haha!
2. Begin With The End In Mind- This means you begin every day or a task with a clear vision. You will know your desired outcome before it has even happened this will encourage you to make more of an effort to make it happen.
3. Put First Things First- Meaning knowing your priorities, doing the most important things in life. It sounds very easy and simple but often people get caught up in the web of non-important things. Which when this happens it means you neglect the larger life priorities until it is too late. I have said in my Bali, Indonesia blog about how when you’re away in a country which isn’t as developed, it opens your eyes to the things you would have never thought about before.
4. Think Win-Win- This is a frame of where the mind and the heart are seeking mutual benefit in all human interactions. I take this one as not always thinking about yourself and what you are going to achieve out of a situation but think of the other people involved in the situation. This way it will be mutually beneficial and be satisfying for each party.
5. Seek First to Understand Then be Understood- People tend to form opinions based upon their own experiences. Unless they work hard to understand the other person’s perspective, two people can see the exact same thing but can form completely different viewpoints because they are understanding others lives.
6. Synergize- I like this one, it basically means ” two heads are better than one”. Creative co-operation, teamwork, open-mindedness, finding new solutions to solve old problems. You need to realise though these things don’t just happen on their own. Working together to gain a stronger and more reliable outcome.
7. Sharpen The Saw- Enhance the greatest asset any human person has, yourself. Ensure you have a balanced idea for self-renewal in the four most important areas of life: Physically, Socially/Emotionally, Mentally and Spiritually.
If anybody out there is looking to change themselves, this book is perfect! It gives direction and support!
Until next time X